150925 London (United Kingdom) Greenwich, St. Alfege Church (map)
Friday, 25 September 2015
Earlier today I was another person. Partly while dreaming, half while I lay awake, things led from point to point to the conclusive evidence that I was no longer the same. By morning the evidence had vanished – but the mood persisted: the idea of possibilities that have not yet been made full use of.
What would it be, this other existence? No doubt simply one in which other aspects of my character would surface; other accents would come into play – because the other person can be ensconced merely inside oneself. (One is inclined to forget this: just in manner that one never takes into account the fact that one will die.)
On this morning I’m accompanied by the exciting idea that during the night and in a dream a portal had opened up through which I, within a hair’s breadth, could have slipped into another existence. Perhaps that will happen once again, and perhaps I will, provided I work really hard at it while I’m awake, succeed at making that leap, that change.
But such a brutal change is probably impossible. It’s likely that we can discover the other in us only via little gestures – by acting in details differently from other occasions, leading minor thoughts in a slightly different direction, taking small disturbances seriously, and following seemingly unsuitable idea
First Publication: 17-10-2015
Modifications: